For most of my life I have had a 'maternal instinct'. While at this point I have no children, I do tend to be the one with a purse full of granola bars, directions laid out, and tickets pre-ordered. It's what I do. I think I've said it before that I want kids but find it hard to tell people because they assume I mean NOW. Are you kidding me? Why would I ruin what I have going right now with a baby? Not a chance. Kids, family.... SOMEDAY LATER. I feel there is no harm or threat in saying that.
Tonight I saw 'The Blind Side' with Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw. I feel it necessary to mention Tim as he is primarily a country music star but nailed one of his first large acting roles. That and, well, he's hot. Moving on... not to give away too much of the plot but at one point the family is preparing a kid to go to university. They are at the campus and showing them around, explaining the cafeteria, how much to study, etc. It was a really sweet moment, sending the kid off to the big world of University, leaving his family. It got me thinking about when I started university. I didn't have the grand drop-off and move-in experience with my family. It's not exactly a life-changing moment, after all, I turned out fine-ish. However, it was a pretty big moment in my life, the type of thing that, while I didn't need the HELP of my family, would have been nice to SHARE with my family.
My family is not from around here and so I was packed up at home and my brother and I drove halfway across the country together. My brother had already started school and so he was returning after a trip home and I was going to start school for the first time. I imagine my parents figured I had my brother, who was attending the same school, to show me the ropes and so I'd be fine. My aunt helped out and we all carted ourselves to my residence to move me in.
At this point, I had been to campus once to see my brother, but that hardly counts as I saw nearly nothing. I had no perception of what a university campus was like and what to look out for. There had been no build up to choosing a residence and emailing my Don or my new roommates. It wasn't so bad to figure out but it's not something that's fun to do alone. I really had NO CLUE what I was getting into.
Back to my maternal instinct. In the movie, it's a really precious moment when the family is so proud and attempting to send their kid off with as much preparation and advice as possible. I would have really enjoyed having my family with me that day, merely as support as I started something very new and foreign. I have no remorse towards my parents as there was really no way they could have been there. I just know that when it comes time for my kids to start off at a big new school, that I will try to make it as easy for them as possible and that it is important to me to see them off on the start of their massive journey into (attempted) adulthood.
What pinnacle moments in your life did you find it was especially nice to have your family there with you? What moments do you wish your family was or wasn't there for?
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Monday, December 07, 2009
How do you feel about your embarassing moments?
A few months ago I decided I was going to cut back on partying a bit. I was thoroughly sick of hangovers (you'd think I'd learn after the first one...) and I was also sick of waking up the next day and remember what stupid things I had said or done. Not that I was off the handle or anything, just a little too relaxed with the brain-to-mouth filter. While I have had many more productive mornings as a result, I'm still finding myself cringing over things I've said or done. I don't think I'm doing anything especially out of the norm, I just feel that once I'm in public in a high-intensity situation (packed bar) I tend to just talk without thinking. It's a terrible habit and I have no idea how to stop it, if it's really that bad, or if I'm completely out in left field.This started on a long train of thought back to first year university and all the stupid things I did as a 17 year old. While part of my brain is saying "ugh I can't believe I did that!" the other part is saying "...how likely is it that anyone else remembers it?"
To compare that last thought I tried to think of stupid things I might have witnessed my friends doing or saying to see what I remembered and how I felt about it. Honestly, I came up pretty empty. I love my friends to death and I'm certain they've done ridiculous things that are embarrassing and cringe-worthy but I honestly don't remember them as such. I had a friend rock star* the hallway outside of my apartment one night and I don't remember it as embarrassing but hilarious and with sympathy.
So, is every silly thing I've done remembered completely differently by my friends than it is by me? Is my unnerving urge to apologize to the world completely unwarranted? How do you handle your embarrassing moments and how do you get them to quit haunting you?
* the verb "to rock star" means to do to a room what a rock star might do after a big show and heavy drinking...usually involves projectiles and bad smells.
To compare that last thought I tried to think of stupid things I might have witnessed my friends doing or saying to see what I remembered and how I felt about it. Honestly, I came up pretty empty. I love my friends to death and I'm certain they've done ridiculous things that are embarrassing and cringe-worthy but I honestly don't remember them as such. I had a friend rock star* the hallway outside of my apartment one night and I don't remember it as embarrassing but hilarious and with sympathy.
So, is every silly thing I've done remembered completely differently by my friends than it is by me? Is my unnerving urge to apologize to the world completely unwarranted? How do you handle your embarrassing moments and how do you get them to quit haunting you?
* the verb "to rock star" means to do to a room what a rock star might do after a big show and heavy drinking...usually involves projectiles and bad smells.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Boomer Behaviour
While I was in Rome, Boomer went to the kennel. I was a little concerned as he would be there for 10 nights and I wasn't sure what he would be like once I got him back home. Much to my own joy, he seemed fine. He still knew his commands and still remembered me and the apartment. When I got home from Rome, the heat hadn't been turned on yet (as described in my previous post) and so Boomer was sleeping in my bed. Needless to say, even though Boomer seemed fine I did not enforce our routine right away. Not such a good idea. If you are a dog owner I'm sure you understand the importance of consistency, 100% of the time. Slacking off after my trip probably wasn't such a good idea.
The week after Boomer started being more aggressive at the dog park. He's always been very playful but now he was barking at other dogs and even got in a bit of a fight with one. Boomer was becoming very obnoxious very quickly. Yesterday, I was leaving for groceries and I tied Boomer up as I always do. Normally he will just sit down and kind of look at me as I leave. This time however he went completely BERZERK. He started barking at me as I was putting my shoes on and didn't stop even by the time I'd gotten to my car. I came home and he was obnoxious all evening. By that point I was sick of it and began plotting how I could sedate him without feeling guilty (NO, I would never do that, I was just VERY frustrated!!). Instead of continuing with my cruel thoughts I remembered I had bought two books on dog behaviour. One was a bit passive and the other was Cesar Milan.
When I first got Cesar's book I found it a bit aggressive and not gentle and caring enough. Then I spent time with Boomer. Boomer is very hyperactive. Sort of like an ADHD kid. Disciplining Boomer with a gentle "No Boomer" wasn't going to work. So I started reading. The conclusions I had made are as follows.
1. Boomer must be calm before ANYTHING happens.
This means Boomer was sit still before being fed, before getting affection, before I open the door, before I put his leash on, before I give him a treat... EVERYTHING. This requires a lot of patience but we are getting there! He is a pro at sitting before we cross the street, I only have to say it once!
2. Erica comes before Boomer... or as Cesar says... Erica is the Pack Leader
This means I go in the house and exit the house before Boomer, Boomer walks at my side. Boomer sniffs when I give his leash slack. Boomer is on my schedule and vice-versa.
3. Be consistent.
This means creating rules (eg: not allowed to sleep in my bed) and sticking with them 100%. This was very tough this morning when Boomer woke up at 6:30 and wanted into my bed and proceeded to whine right next to my face. No cool, Boomer. I did not give in! Eventually he went back to bed. Yay, that's a win for the Pack Leader! Consistency also lies in when we walk and when Boomer gets fed. (I made a schedule!)
4. Remind guests to ignore him.
If Boomer is hyper when guests arrive and then he gets attention immediatly then he perceives this as a reward for his behaviour. Not so! Ignore Boomer at first and then once he is calm, proceed to smother him with hugs.
5. WALK before PARK. PARK does not equal WALK.
This was a big one for me as I was taking Boomer to the park everyday as a means of exercise. This is not true, the dog park is a form of socializing. Boomer would go bonkers as we'd be driving to the park and then he'd get all pent up and go nuts once we got there. It is a common misconception that excitement means happiness when in fact excitement often means frustration. Boomer was entering the park very frustrated and so he was very irritable... hence the fight. As such, Cesar recommends that you walk your dog before you go to the park and then once they have had some exercise, take them to the park. This is going to be a tough one to get over as Boomer is very excitable and nervous. For now, we are avoiding the park as Boomer learns to calm down and gets used to his new lifestyle.
I've heard many people that disagree with Cesar's methods but I feel that they are suitable for Boomer as he is so high-strung and needs a stricter environment if he is going to stay with me.
We'll see how it goes!!
The week after Boomer started being more aggressive at the dog park. He's always been very playful but now he was barking at other dogs and even got in a bit of a fight with one. Boomer was becoming very obnoxious very quickly. Yesterday, I was leaving for groceries and I tied Boomer up as I always do. Normally he will just sit down and kind of look at me as I leave. This time however he went completely BERZERK. He started barking at me as I was putting my shoes on and didn't stop even by the time I'd gotten to my car. I came home and he was obnoxious all evening. By that point I was sick of it and began plotting how I could sedate him without feeling guilty (NO, I would never do that, I was just VERY frustrated!!). Instead of continuing with my cruel thoughts I remembered I had bought two books on dog behaviour. One was a bit passive and the other was Cesar Milan.
When I first got Cesar's book I found it a bit aggressive and not gentle and caring enough. Then I spent time with Boomer. Boomer is very hyperactive. Sort of like an ADHD kid. Disciplining Boomer with a gentle "No Boomer" wasn't going to work. So I started reading. The conclusions I had made are as follows.
1. Boomer must be calm before ANYTHING happens.
This means Boomer was sit still before being fed, before getting affection, before I open the door, before I put his leash on, before I give him a treat... EVERYTHING. This requires a lot of patience but we are getting there! He is a pro at sitting before we cross the street, I only have to say it once!
2. Erica comes before Boomer... or as Cesar says... Erica is the Pack Leader
This means I go in the house and exit the house before Boomer, Boomer walks at my side. Boomer sniffs when I give his leash slack. Boomer is on my schedule and vice-versa.
3. Be consistent.
This means creating rules (eg: not allowed to sleep in my bed) and sticking with them 100%. This was very tough this morning when Boomer woke up at 6:30 and wanted into my bed and proceeded to whine right next to my face. No cool, Boomer. I did not give in! Eventually he went back to bed. Yay, that's a win for the Pack Leader! Consistency also lies in when we walk and when Boomer gets fed. (I made a schedule!)
4. Remind guests to ignore him.
If Boomer is hyper when guests arrive and then he gets attention immediatly then he perceives this as a reward for his behaviour. Not so! Ignore Boomer at first and then once he is calm, proceed to smother him with hugs.
5. WALK before PARK. PARK does not equal WALK.
This was a big one for me as I was taking Boomer to the park everyday as a means of exercise. This is not true, the dog park is a form of socializing. Boomer would go bonkers as we'd be driving to the park and then he'd get all pent up and go nuts once we got there. It is a common misconception that excitement means happiness when in fact excitement often means frustration. Boomer was entering the park very frustrated and so he was very irritable... hence the fight. As such, Cesar recommends that you walk your dog before you go to the park and then once they have had some exercise, take them to the park. This is going to be a tough one to get over as Boomer is very excitable and nervous. For now, we are avoiding the park as Boomer learns to calm down and gets used to his new lifestyle.
I've heard many people that disagree with Cesar's methods but I feel that they are suitable for Boomer as he is so high-strung and needs a stricter environment if he is going to stay with me.
We'll see how it goes!!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tips for surviving when your apartment is freezing
...or How to Survive Sub-zero Temperatures With All the Amenities of a First-World Home
1. Always stay dressed in many layers. Some basics include long johns, flannel pants, sweat pants, wool socks, slippers, undershirt, long-sleeved shirt, sweater, large hoodie, scarf, toque, and blanket. I suppose when I wrote 'suggestions' it may have come across as "some separate ideas you many want to try" when really I meant "this entire list is one suggestion of one set of clothes you could wear... at once" just want to be clear.
2. Never undress. Do not risk skin exposure. You will be cold when you sleep so just crawl into bed dressed as such. Sure, that seems kind of gross going to bed in what you have been wearing all day but desperate times call for desperate measures, sheets can be washed. Really, you're already wrapped in blankets, going to bed just means turning your body from a vertical fetal position at your desk to horizontal on your bed.
3. The shower is both the best and worst part of your day. The time you spend in that seemingly magical spray of pure goodness will be the greatest 10 (...or 25...) minutes of your day. The 5 minutes prior to and afterward are the worst of your day. Getting in and out of a shower requires nudity (I know, you're shocked) and there is no way around. You get in with your clothes on and those clothes are going to turn frigid as soon as you step out. It's not worth it, trust me. Instead, enjoy the pain-turned-pleasure of your fingers thawing out.
4. Spoil the dog and let him sleep on the bed. Did you know that a dog's natural temperature is roughly 15 degrees warmer than a humans? No way is that extra heat going to waste. Trust me, when it's 4c in the house, that dog is not leaving your side. Not to self... get a bigger dog...
5. Go out for meals. Your fingers are too stuff to cook and you can barely get up from your chair. Going out for meals means showering (described above...mmm....), getting a hot meal made by someone else, and being in an establishment that likely has heat as it would be closed otherwise given the temperature outside and it would be considered cruel and unusual punishment to allow humans to suffer as so (HMMM FUNNY THAT).
6. Go to bed early. The more you sleep the less you have to endure in this frozen hell.
Fun things to do when your house is the same temperature as outside which happens to be less than 5c:
1. After your shower allow your wet hair to freeze into icicles so that you can crack them like you did while waiting for the bus growing up
2. Fog up mirrors and draw funny pictures
3. See how many scarves you can fit twisted around your body without getting tangled up
4. Leave the house because it's ludicrous to stay instead. Bring puppy and head to brother's house.
...to be fair the heat came on about an hour ago though it is sure taking it's sweet ass time filling the house. Perhaps it's karma for my posting a slightly bitter blog entry.
1. Always stay dressed in many layers. Some basics include long johns, flannel pants, sweat pants, wool socks, slippers, undershirt, long-sleeved shirt, sweater, large hoodie, scarf, toque, and blanket. I suppose when I wrote 'suggestions' it may have come across as "some separate ideas you many want to try" when really I meant "this entire list is one suggestion of one set of clothes you could wear... at once" just want to be clear.
2. Never undress. Do not risk skin exposure. You will be cold when you sleep so just crawl into bed dressed as such. Sure, that seems kind of gross going to bed in what you have been wearing all day but desperate times call for desperate measures, sheets can be washed. Really, you're already wrapped in blankets, going to bed just means turning your body from a vertical fetal position at your desk to horizontal on your bed.
3. The shower is both the best and worst part of your day. The time you spend in that seemingly magical spray of pure goodness will be the greatest 10 (...or 25...) minutes of your day. The 5 minutes prior to and afterward are the worst of your day. Getting in and out of a shower requires nudity (I know, you're shocked) and there is no way around. You get in with your clothes on and those clothes are going to turn frigid as soon as you step out. It's not worth it, trust me. Instead, enjoy the pain-turned-pleasure of your fingers thawing out.
4. Spoil the dog and let him sleep on the bed. Did you know that a dog's natural temperature is roughly 15 degrees warmer than a humans? No way is that extra heat going to waste. Trust me, when it's 4c in the house, that dog is not leaving your side. Not to self... get a bigger dog...
5. Go out for meals. Your fingers are too stuff to cook and you can barely get up from your chair. Going out for meals means showering (described above...mmm....), getting a hot meal made by someone else, and being in an establishment that likely has heat as it would be closed otherwise given the temperature outside and it would be considered cruel and unusual punishment to allow humans to suffer as so (HMMM FUNNY THAT).
6. Go to bed early. The more you sleep the less you have to endure in this frozen hell.
Fun things to do when your house is the same temperature as outside which happens to be less than 5c:
1. After your shower allow your wet hair to freeze into icicles so that you can crack them like you did while waiting for the bus growing up
2. Fog up mirrors and draw funny pictures
3. See how many scarves you can fit twisted around your body without getting tangled up
4. Leave the house because it's ludicrous to stay instead. Bring puppy and head to brother's house.
...to be fair the heat came on about an hour ago though it is sure taking it's sweet ass time filling the house. Perhaps it's karma for my posting a slightly bitter blog entry.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Graduate Stigma
Hello lovelies,
It has been 4 months since I finished school. For the past 6 years, I switched what I was doing every 4 months with co-op. 4 months school, 4 months work. That routine would put me getting ready to start school again on Monday. Nope, not this time. This time I get to keep working. This time I don't get to spend labour day prepping for frosh week. This time I don't get to go to a keg party every night for a whole week.
While I'm thrilled to have a job and to be able to afford a few extra indulgences, it is bittersweet. I spent 6 years in that routine, I spent 6 years enjoying that routine. It's not the easiest thing to part with.
There is a bit of a stigma attached to graduating. It seems that you become a 'sketchy grad' almost immediately and to spend time with anyone in their undergrad is frowned upon. This is so bizarre. Why would I give up my slightly younger friends just because I finished school? I'm still in town, I'm still me. It's as if you are forced to grow up. You are not allowed to enjoy keg parties anymore, you are not allowed to walk around in sweatpants. Sure, I don't really enjoy the crowds at most keg parties and I haven't left the house in sweats in a long time... but when all my undergrad friends are enjoying themselves this week, I feel a bit left out.
Why do I need to quit this activities and un-friend these people? It's not as if I'll never grow up. I'd say I'm a lot more grown up then many other people my age. Why must this stigma exist?
It has been 4 months since I finished school. For the past 6 years, I switched what I was doing every 4 months with co-op. 4 months school, 4 months work. That routine would put me getting ready to start school again on Monday. Nope, not this time. This time I get to keep working. This time I don't get to spend labour day prepping for frosh week. This time I don't get to go to a keg party every night for a whole week.
While I'm thrilled to have a job and to be able to afford a few extra indulgences, it is bittersweet. I spent 6 years in that routine, I spent 6 years enjoying that routine. It's not the easiest thing to part with.
There is a bit of a stigma attached to graduating. It seems that you become a 'sketchy grad' almost immediately and to spend time with anyone in their undergrad is frowned upon. This is so bizarre. Why would I give up my slightly younger friends just because I finished school? I'm still in town, I'm still me. It's as if you are forced to grow up. You are not allowed to enjoy keg parties anymore, you are not allowed to walk around in sweatpants. Sure, I don't really enjoy the crowds at most keg parties and I haven't left the house in sweats in a long time... but when all my undergrad friends are enjoying themselves this week, I feel a bit left out.
Why do I need to quit this activities and un-friend these people? It's not as if I'll never grow up. I'd say I'm a lot more grown up then many other people my age. Why must this stigma exist?
Thursday, September 03, 2009
Pissed Off Doggie Business
Does any one else immediately want to blog when they get pissed off?
Here's the jist of it...
Boomer, my dog, is pretty awesome. He's cute, funny, and his behaviour has improved so much since I got him almost 2 months ago. I'm so proud of my little guy! Boomer walks very well when he has his Halti collar on but walks very poorly without it. I have not tried him on a harness mostly because the Halti is working fine so why spend the extra money. FYI - a 'Halti Collar' is a gentle leader collar, it goes over their snout but it's not tight. If the dog pulls, the collar tightens on their face, which dogs hate and so they relax. They are pretty common in these parts. They also make people around you more comfortable as it can act as a muzzle so the liklihood of being bit is decreased. Boomer's problem is that he really likes other dogs. Boomer LOVES other dogs. I could take Boomer to the dog park and leave him there and he would not even know I was gone. However, when we pass other dogs while Boomer is on his leash & Halti collar, he barks at them. Which brings me to this morning.
I wak outside to talk him for his morning walk. We cross the street and coming in the opposite direction is an older woman (I'd guess 55+) with a walker and a seeing-eye dog, or at least an assistance dog of sorts. Well crap. So I start walking and Boomer starts barking. Thankfully, her dog doesn't flinch. Side-bar: assistance dogs really are amazing. This woman however yells at me. Something to the effect of "You need to control your dog, I shouldn't have to walk down the street in fear that my dog is going to lose control, get a harness for that thing." Umm...what? Ummm... last I checked we can't all have perfectly behaved dogs.
I'm pissed off because this woman used her disability agaisnt me. (I'm not sure what it was, I don't think she was blind as she knew boomer wasn't in a harness.) She yelled at me as if it was my responsibility to make sure her day is without distrubance. What a piss-off. i'm sorry this woman is so miserable and needs to yell at a 20-something and her cute dog just so she feels better about herself. Lady, I'm sorry for YOUR cute dog who is so well behaved because you probably never rub his belly or accidently drop a peice of dinner on the floor.
Here's the jist of it...
Boomer, my dog, is pretty awesome. He's cute, funny, and his behaviour has improved so much since I got him almost 2 months ago. I'm so proud of my little guy! Boomer walks very well when he has his Halti collar on but walks very poorly without it. I have not tried him on a harness mostly because the Halti is working fine so why spend the extra money. FYI - a 'Halti Collar' is a gentle leader collar, it goes over their snout but it's not tight. If the dog pulls, the collar tightens on their face, which dogs hate and so they relax. They are pretty common in these parts. They also make people around you more comfortable as it can act as a muzzle so the liklihood of being bit is decreased. Boomer's problem is that he really likes other dogs. Boomer LOVES other dogs. I could take Boomer to the dog park and leave him there and he would not even know I was gone. However, when we pass other dogs while Boomer is on his leash & Halti collar, he barks at them. Which brings me to this morning.
I wak outside to talk him for his morning walk. We cross the street and coming in the opposite direction is an older woman (I'd guess 55+) with a walker and a seeing-eye dog, or at least an assistance dog of sorts. Well crap. So I start walking and Boomer starts barking. Thankfully, her dog doesn't flinch. Side-bar: assistance dogs really are amazing. This woman however yells at me. Something to the effect of "You need to control your dog, I shouldn't have to walk down the street in fear that my dog is going to lose control, get a harness for that thing." Umm...what? Ummm... last I checked we can't all have perfectly behaved dogs.
I'm pissed off because this woman used her disability agaisnt me. (I'm not sure what it was, I don't think she was blind as she knew boomer wasn't in a harness.) She yelled at me as if it was my responsibility to make sure her day is without distrubance. What a piss-off. i'm sorry this woman is so miserable and needs to yell at a 20-something and her cute dog just so she feels better about herself. Lady, I'm sorry for YOUR cute dog who is so well behaved because you probably never rub his belly or accidently drop a peice of dinner on the floor.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Today I found out that my dad reads my blog.
HI DAD!!
Haha, I'm ok with this, there's really nothing to hide and I've pretty much told my mom everything I've put on here anyway.
EIN might be a bit quiet for a little while as I type up recipes for my messy kitchen. I'm having so much fun writing them out and hearing about people reading them!
This weekend I think I'm going to host a tapas party... I'm sure you will hear all about in over on MMK. Enjoy your weekend and try a new recipe!
HI DAD!!
Haha, I'm ok with this, there's really nothing to hide and I've pretty much told my mom everything I've put on here anyway.
EIN might be a bit quiet for a little while as I type up recipes for my messy kitchen. I'm having so much fun writing them out and hearing about people reading them!
This weekend I think I'm going to host a tapas party... I'm sure you will hear all about in over on MMK. Enjoy your weekend and try a new recipe!
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