Let me explain.
I have many wonderful people in my life that I am happy to call my friends. Largely male, we have a great time when we get together and I feel blessed to have such an awesome network surrounding me.
I just don't have a best friend, with similar interests. My closest friends live in another city, making it difficult to act on any everyday activities. This, coupled with an overwhelming feeling of not belonging results in a serious pursuit of companionship.
In the past month, I've found a way to better explain this. I've never felt any sense of belonging at any stage of my life. In a room full of women, I don't feel feminine enough. In a room full of engineers, I don't feel techy enough. In a room full of baker's I don't feel talented enough. Put me in a room full of female engineer bakers and maybe I'll fit in, I just haven't found that room yet!
Over the past two years I've really discovered what my true hobbies are and I've pursued them, which tends to be alone. Something I am ok with but would prefer to have a girlfriend along for the ride. (I originally wrote 'gal pal' and immediately gagged and changed it to girlfriend.) Really what I'm looking for is a girlfriend.
To me, having good friends means having the same interests and enjoying those interests together. DOING things together beyond having drinks and chatting. I just seem to fall into a category that lacks common interest. Or, as those closest to me would say, I fit into a category that surpasses my age group by... 30 years.
In no particular order, here are some activities that I enjoy that I'd like to share with a friend:
- Going to the farmer's market. Disclaimer: I go at 6:30am.
- Sewing, maybe a joint project or some interior decor project that we are tackling in tandem.
- Some kind of crafting class. Maybe beading, or painting, or sewing etc.
- Gardening. Maybe we are both new to this (I sure am) and we're trying to grow something this year and sharing in our research and maybe even helping each other with the yard work. (Now THAT's friendship).
- Any kind of new cooking skill/endeavour. Maybe we try making cheese or perfecting beer can chicken.
I'm thinking that maybe my two years of 'self-hobby-discovery' has created a certain rigidity that isn't appealing to many. For example, I don't want to go to the farmer's market later in the day. I don't want to do anything that involves sitting around, I'm a DO-er, not a WATCH-er.
This is going to need a (likely just as wordy) follow-up post as I think I've only scratched the surface of what I'm looking for/what I need to do.