Saturday, June 21, 2008

Oh how it feels so good to cry again!
It was completely simple and totally perfect. I was watching 'Practical Magic,' a movie I have seen many times, and there it was.

This is significant for a few reasons. The first being that I've seen this movie before and never cried. Also that I never cry in movies! I have gotten puffy eyes but never drawn tears. Crying is just not in me. Crying was not in our family, we just didn't do it. I have seen my mom cry a handful of times and my dad only twice, my brother... perhaps never. Who knows why, this is just the way it was.

I suppose when I say 'crying is just no in me' I really mean that I don't do it very often and when I do it's likely only my mom who hears me over the phone. Mostly due to school and being overwhelmed. So I do cry, it happens often enough to notice when it hasn't happen for a while.

The next reason is just that, I have not cried since January. That is close to 6 months. Long enough to notice. I think because there were so many tears in January that I tried to avoid it and eventually forgot that I could cry. There were cry-worthy events that have come and gone and I have kept a tough exterior and acted with poise, even after getting home and being alone.
Today I was reminded why this is not always the right way to handle things. It felt so good and I hope that I won't forget about it ever again.

School is busy and I'm involved in so many things with council, it's tough to find time for blogger but I think about it often. I will try to post more!

p.s. I miss hockey so badly.

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