Thursday, March 13, 2008

This term has been ssoooo full of future planning. Well, future freaking out anyway. I'm nearing the end of my UG (finally) and so big decisions need to be made. I think I'm freaking out about it because it's SO uncertain. It's real life, this is it. No second chances. Being an adult really sucks. Being in my UG is a bit of a shelter to me, I feel like I can go wherever, do whatever, and I'll always have Waterloo to come back to. It's not going to be like that forever, my mistakes are going to be more serious, my choices are going to be more important, it's the real deal. When did the memo about 'Growing up' go out? I must have missed that day. I feel like I have a huge exam and I didn't take any notes or do any assignments and I have nothing on my side to get me through it. Seriously, this blows.

If I had the answers to these questions, or guarantee that some of these things will come true, I would be at ease:
I want to take a trip at the end of April, where? how? with who?
I want to have an awesome summer without losing my head by taking on too much.
What am I going to do in September? I keep saying I'm going to take time off because I want it so bad but it's hard to say 'no' to co-op jobs that will pay me so well. (If you have ideas, let me know, I'm really up for anything!!!)
What is going to happen when I graduate? Will I still wake up in the morning? Will the grass still grow?
I want to do more once I'm done, but what? Grad school? Another degree? WHAT???
What if I take a job? Do I want a transport job or a construction job? Where do I want to take this job?
What if I hate my job? How easy will it be to quit?
What if I become so absorbed in my job that I become a loner forever?
What if I become a work-a-holic and therefore never manage to meet anyone and start a family?
What if I never meet anyone??
What if I'm a miserable old cat lady??

Seriously, this next year is going to be a large sac of stress. I know I will still be alive at the end of it but I have NO CLUE what the hell I'll be doing.

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