"If you can't say it at Christmas, then when can you?"
I'm not sure if i heard this on "Love Actually" or I just remembered it from something or other. My point is that I really beleive this. I always find myself writing cards to people I haven't talked to in ages, I'm even generally a nicer person. December really makes me think. About where I am, about where I've been and about where I want to go.
Where I am: Right now I am in Toronto, living alone however the 5 of us that live at #### Any Street are having Chinese together tomorrow night. I'm very excited, we are all nice people that get along and being with friends makes me happy.
Where I've been: I've been in a lull. Everything started to clear up at the beginning of November however one can never go from being so low to high again, there is a transition period and somedays I think the transition is as hard as the lull. Everything seems new and different again. I try to be good with change but as with everything there are obsticles.
Where I want to go: On my vacation, back to school, then more vacation. I'll get 2 of these and that should suffice. This Christmas will be one of the more memorable ones because we are finally going away. Other memorable ones include when my Dad's brother, his wife and their 3 kids (my age) came over for 2 weeks. We built snow forts and went skating. It was very movie-like in that our house was packed, there was tons of food and everyone was happy and care-free for a short 13 days in December. Otherwise we've had the power go out as we were opening gifts. My brother and i had to put gift opening on hold as my dad called the fire department to get the buring tree off the electrical wires outside of our house. Back to where I want to go. I so desperatley want to succeed in school and be happy and be remembered. Have great friends that will automatically come to mind when I'm thinking of my wedding invitation list. Those are the friends I want, the ones that can share every moment of my life with me and i want to be proud of them and have them be proud of me.
As for where I wish I was, where I wish I've been and where I wish I was going, It doesn't matter because I'm not going to get any of these, I'm going to get whatever comes around, I'll deal with it as it comes. Until then I'll be happy that it's the holidays and only look forward to what I have ahead of me.